Milestones

Significant milestones are upon us. For Marc, he just celebrated a milestone birthday, his 50th! And for us as a family our year in France is coming to an end and we are about to embark on a whole new adventure. Merriam-Webster defines milestone as "a significant point in development". Our year in France has definitely been that for us.

First, let's celebrate Marc and his first 50 years! Leading up to his big birthday I kept probing what he wanted to do to mark the momentous occasion. In true Marc fashion, nothing fancy. In his view he felt like this whole year away had been his real 50th gift. I would have to agree although I still felt like his birthday required a proper celebration. Without any movement from Marc I decided to take his birthday into my own hands. Side note here, I did throw a surprise party for him for his 40th birthday but that was in the U.S. where I actually had a strong grasp of the common language. Trying to throw a surprise party in France felt insurmountable. So while Marc was away for a few days (I'll speak to that later) I gathered the troops (aka Marc's brother and Valerie). I really wanted to mark the occasion by gathering his family, his old friends, and the new friends that we've made since being here. I had an idea for a location but didn't even know where to start. Thankfully Olivier and Valerie were on board and willing to help me navigate the French.

In less than 2 weeks we successfully reserved the cellar of a Brasserie in town, decided on a menu, texted, emailed, and phoned everyone, and amazingly everyone was free and able to attend! We decided on the cover of Olivier wanting to take Marc out to dinner for his birthday and the wheels were set in motion. The most amazing part of all of this was the fact that Lola and Teah actually knew what we were planning and somehow we're able to keep it to themselves up until the very moment of surprise as we entered the restaurant and everyone greeted Marc with a loud Joyeux Anniversaire!

I wasn't kidding. It was really in the cellar!

New friends!

And old friends! 

Plus family! Marc with Valerie's parents.

Marc with his Mama and Papa.

And with his brother's godparents.

Proof that there were kids there. Ha! They pretty much roamed between outside and the room adjacent to the cellar which had yummy treats for them. Can't say any of us were very aware of what they were up to. Good thing they made good choices. ;-)

Olivier decided to get behind the bar to play DJ and bartender.

Yes. Those are grown adults doing "The Dab". 

Let's just say this was towards the end of the night.  ;-)

Marc and his brother!

I can't speak directly for Marc here but as many people approach their 50th birthdays I imagine there's often an itch that needs scratching. That moment at the middle of your life where you're even more reflective and perhaps antsier than usual. How it's expressed varies dramatically for everyone. We don't have the money to buy Marc a Porsche and thankfully he's not looking to trade out his wife for a younger model (it probably helps that I'm already younger than him ;-) ) but that doesn't mean he's still not looking for some change, which brings us to the topic of our year abroad.

If you've been following my rambles since the beginning of our adventure you might recall that we had 3 goals for our year in France -- to learn French, connect with family, and re-focus our future. We've definitely succeeded in the first 2 goals. The girls French at this point is almost as good as their English. They've far outpaced me and now when I don't understand what someone is saying I can generally go to Lola for a translation. We've also had such a lovely time with Marc's family and all of us, including the girls, feel much closer to them now. So much so, that Lola expressed to me not too long ago how hard it was going to be for her to leave her family and new friends. She so wisely reflected to me that now wherever she is she's going to be missing somebody. So true!

The 3rd goal of re-focusing our future is a bit harder. Of course re-focusing is never very easy. Change is hard and just taking the leap to leave everything we knew and loved to come here for a year was definitely not easy. Now making decisions that will effect our forseeable future, even harder. But having the space, time, and perspective to actually think through the different options has been really helpful and has allowed us to approach these decisions with much more intention.

Our life in California, specifically Marin County, is beautiful. We literally live in an amazingly beautiful place, with a truly special school, and the best friends anyone could hope to have accumulated at this point in their life. Our home, although modest and definitely in need of more TLC, is where both of our daughters were born and where we laid our dog to rest. I have a job that inspires, challenges, and motivates me to be a better Dietitian. And although not living in the exact same region, I'm within driving distance of my sister and parents and feel blessed that we're all so close and visit each other regularly. I truly never imagined a scenario where I would even consider leaving all of this behind. But with much reflection and meditation that is exactly what we've decided to do.

Our year in France has given us a truly different perspective on what a balanced life could look like. Although everything I just listed about our life in California sounds idyllic it comes at a cost. Actually a very high cost. In order for us to make the money required to live in such a place Marc and I work a lot; long hours with often times long commutes. Ever since our girls were born we've relied on nannies and babysitters to help us care for them; to pick them up from school, to feed them dinner, and get them ready for bed. And unfortunately Marc's work was requiring him to work longer and longer hours, including many weekends, while being paid less and less.

After having almost a full year away from this; away from the long hours away from home, away from rarely having dinner together, away from the financial stresses, and away from a babysitter spending more time with our kids than we did, it became almost impossible for us to consider going back to that. The idea of stepping right back into the stress and chaos was not what we wanted to get out of our year away. In many ways this year away has reminded us what matters most and although we still care deeply about our work and chosen professions we care even more about the health of our family and the time we have to devote to it.

In France we have been able to imagine a new life here. Still geographically beautiful yet with a more balanced perspective to life. A lower cost of living and a cultural appreciation for family and time away from work. There are still some real challenges facing us and of course the grass is not always greener. But weighing all the pros and cons this feels like the best decision for us at this point in time.

So........I guess the French Remedy is transitioning from a blog about taking a year to re-focus and connect to a blog about what it means to move and live abroad. I will continue to write and share all the ups and downs of what it actually means to start over in a new country. I hope it will continue to inspire and entertain you and I hope you will continue to follow along with our crazy adventures.