Making Friends

Back home I consider ourselves lucky to have lots of friends.  We're a pretty friendly bunch.  :)

I knew we would eventually make friends here too I just wasn't sure how long that process would be considering the language barrier.  Marc still has some friends here from when he was a child and of course their families are an easy-in to some new friends.  

As kids will do though, my girls continue to teach me things, and lessons on making friends is no exception.

As discussed in an earlier blog post about meeting that sweet English family at the park, the girls are immediately drawn to anyone speaking English.  It's funny how we have all these factors at home that one must meet in order for us to come out of our comfort zone and attempt to make a new friend. When you live in another country, sometimes the only thing that matters is that you speak the same language.  The very first day of school the girls met a sweet older girl who spoke English.  Her family had moved here from Gibraltar 4 years ago because her Dad took a post as Chief Surgeon at the Red Cross in Geneva.  She made a point every day to seek out the girls and help make them feel comfortable and more easily integrate into the school.  Her mom ended up being just as sweet as her and had me over for coffee one morning.  I thanked her for her daughter's kindness and she told me that her daughter felt like it was her responsibility to help Lola ad Teah as she remembered what it felt like to be in their shoes 4 years ago.

What started as just one English-speaking girl quickly grew into many more.  It wasn't long before the girls started telling us stories of the friends they were making at school, despite a common language.  From the sound of it, it seemed like some kids were just interested in the shiny newness of these 2 American girls in their small school and found entertainment in watching them deal with the language.  As a side note to this idea, keep in mind, that although the girls don't speak French, in every other way they look like the kids at the school.  I can only imagine how this "shiny newness" would be translated to a country where the children didn't look anything like them.  It certainly puts in perspective being the new kid on the block.  Others seemed truly interested in them and trying to develop a relationship.  Marc's Physical Therapist (who just so happens to have her kids at our school) told Marc one day how she found her daughter looking up English words on the computer so she could talk to Lola and Teah the next day! So not only are our girls working on their French the other children are working on their English! How totally wonderful!

That first week of school as we were struggling with releasing Teah at the gate another mom was having a similar issue with her daughter, who just so happened to be in Teah's class.  Although they were French they had just moved to Anthy from Brittany and her daughters also didn't know anyone at the school and were having a hard time adjusting; especially the younger daughter. Well, we naturally were drawn to each other and our shared experience.  We decided to have a "play date" over the weekend to see if that would help the girls settle in and feel like they're starting to make friends. Again although the language barrier was a challenge we met up at the lake and the girls had a great time with each other.  This weekend we're inviting them over for a dinner party.

Within a few weeks the girls had been invited to their first pajama party by a very sweet girl in Lola's class who Lola had connected with by braiding her hair at recess; neither of them sharing any common language.  Not only did that not seem to matter at school, but this little girl enjoyed her so much that she actually wanted Lola and Teah to come over for a sleep-over.  Can you imagine spending a whole night with a new friend where you don't speak the same language!  The girls were excited but understandably a bit nervous too.  When we spoke to the little girl's parents we quickly discovered that both of their English was quite good.  Her Dad works for an American company in Switzerland and her mom has lived all over Europe and actually knows several languages.  Needless, to say they had a fabulous time and couldn't wait to do it again!  (I'm sure the 11 chickens they got to play with helped!)

Not long after, the girls were both invited to birthday parties for kids in their respective classes.  As a parent, all you want is your kid to make friends and integrate into whatever environment they find themselves in.  I can't tell you what a relief it's been to see this unfold, again despite a common language.  Teah's birthday is coming up and it went from just a simple party at home with the family to a sleep-over party with 5 friends from school!  

I've been trying to use the girls' example and put myself out there as well.  Not being afraid to use my limited French (franglish) with the wives of Marc's friends and with new people I meet at the many dinner parties my sister and brother-in-law throw.  I feel like I know just enough to sometimes get myself into trouble.  A good example of this, I was talking with one woman about yoga and how much I love it.  I understood her to say that she wanted to start a class with some of her friends and if I would be interested in participating.  Bien sur (of course), I replied.  Later on the way home from the party Marc proceeded to express his surprise that I felt comfortable enough teaching a yoga class! What?!?! Apparently I had agreed to teach the class rather than participate.  Oh, mon Dieu! Thankfully that got straightened out and she found a REAL professional yoga teacher and I actually am now participating in it; every Monday morning.  It's all in French with 4 other ladies.  I don't understand everything and am constantly sneaking peeks to see what I'm supposed to be doing but I love it!  One of the other ladies picks me up and drives me back and we both use our French/English on the car ride.  It works and honestly it's kind of "nice" to be forced to use my French more.  So myself, like the girls, continue to navigate this new country and language and in the process are actually starting to find friends!